Blog Reading

I read blogs. In fact, I read too many of them, so much that my own writing has come to a standstill. Blog-reading was a phase that I fell into headfirst, and too deeply for my own good. It is certainly good to read blogs and to think about what is written, but certain things need to be remembered when reading other people's blogs. 

For starters, I started to spend too much time reading too many blogs, and each and every post on those blogs. It started with two or three, and slowly spread to something like fifteen. That was overkill. I realized, that even on very good blogs, it's just not worth reading every single word of every single post. Even with very good blogs, you can separate the really good posts from the just okay ones, and then focus on reading selective posts. Of course to do this, you have to be reading every single word to start with, so that you can discern the good posts from the not-so-great ones! I have been reading long enough to do that, and have already started doing so. This makes more sense, because it allows me to focus my thinking on stuff that really interests me, rather than just read anything and everything. 

Then again, it's not enough to just read. Reading is supposed to inspire thinking, and that is what allows intellect to grow. But thinking inside one's head is not enough; I've realized this the hard way, with too much pain. There must be some outlet for one's thoughts; somewhere where you can look back at them and connect the dots to make patterns. This is where one's own writing should help; writing as a habit makes you focus your thoughts, and solidify them. Writing is important for communication too, because if you can write stuff clearly, that allows you to share your ideas effectively. 

Reading every single word of every single post is quite frankly, a waste of time. Really a waste of time. Even if every post gave you something to think about, and to write about, it's still not worth it. You don't get left with anything else to do. Thank goodness I didn't start commenting on blogs too. That would've been the end of me. It nearly was, especially with my writing coming to a halt and all.

I've always believed it a bad idea to make promises, because somehow I have never believed that it's usually possible to fully ever keep a promise. Certainly a promise with a forever connotation is a very bad idea. So I'm not going to promise myself that I will get back to my writing and post regularly, but I can certainly try to commit to that. I like my writing, and I often have a hard time believing the richness of thought I used to have as a younger person. I want that to continue, and the best way to do that is to keep up the writing. I will post more regularly. That's all.

How To Juggle Two Balls, and Three Balls

I remember watching a TV show one day in tenth grade, where a character was shown juggling. It was a young girl, my own age, and I remember thinking, this should be easy to do. I didn't realize at the time that you could probably just look it up online, so I had to develop my own technique for doing it. 

It's pretty easy really. Essentially, you just replicate the motions first, and make sure you are comfortable with the sequence, without actually throwing more than one ball at a time. This is so that you get instinctive about when and where the ball is supposed to go, and when and where it should land. Then you try the sequence with upto two balls in the air at any time. You get comfy with two flawless exchanges. Then get comfy with three. Once you get comfy with three exchanges, it's only a matter of concentration for getting more than that. 

Everyone usually gets pretty good at doing two balls with two hands. Two balls with one hand needs a little more work. I'm pretty comfy with that, and can do them with either hand, even switching between hands. Interestingly, I learnt how to work three balls, before I did two balls. I practiced with tennis balls, simply because I had a whole load of them lying uselessly about the house.

The position of the balls in your hand, and where you catch and throw them, is important. Suppose you have two balls in one hand. Both balls lie on your palm, one in "front", between your thumb, index finger and middle finger, and the other at the "back", between your ring and little fingers and the ball of the thumb. The position is important, because when you throw a ball, you throw it from the back position and receive it at the front. I haven't tried doing it the other way around, because this feels more natural. My guess is that's because I can control the motion of the ball when I'm throwing it better that way, ie I can control the amount of force with which I throw it. 

For two balls, it goes like this.

I have two balls in one hand and I want to juggle them, with that one hand, which, believe me, is not as easy as one may think at first. The motion should go like this. I throw one ball, and before I catch it, I have to throw the other. Then I catch the first ball, and throw it again, before I catch the second ball. This exchange must repeat continuously and slowly, and the balls shouldn't hit each other when I throw them. This is why I throw them a little sideways, so that the overall trajectory of the balls turns out a little oval in shape. 

Throw the back ball, and catch it in the front position, in the same hand. This is one exchange. This means that you have to throw the ball just high enough that you have time to shift the ball in your hand to the back position. Too little force means not enough time to shift the ball, too much means the ball will fly off and land somewhere out of your reach. Once that is done, try two exchanges. That means, instead of just shifting the front ball to the back in your hand, throw it - with the same level of force that you threw the first ball. After you throw it, you would catch the first ball, when you do, shift it immediately to the back, and then catch the second one in front. 

Then try three exchanges. If you get that straight, try three exchanges again, sideways throwing this time. I found sideways throwing more comfortable, because I get a better idea of the balls' trajectory, since it is in a plane normal to my line of vision. One could in theory continue throwing the balls back and front, but since that happens in a plane significantly away from the normal to my line of vision, my estimate of the force with which to throw the balls soon goes awry. Other people may have different experiences, I haven't checked. 

If you get three exchanges comfortably, try going for more. If you got it with one hand, do it with the other. Then try switching from one hand to the other, maybe after about ten exchanges in each hand. It gets super easy with time, once one has the throwing motion down pat.

For three balls, it goes like this. 

You'll have two balls in one hand and one ball in the other. The same rules of back and front position apply. The rule simply is: throw the ball in the back position from the hand with two balls. Throw the ball in the other hand before you catch the incoming ball in the front position. Once you catch a ball, shift it to the back position, ready to throw again. 

To practice, go like this. Throw the back ball to the other hand, shift the single ball to the back and catch the incoming ball in front. Now the original single ball would be at the back, so throw that to the other hand, and catch it in front. These are single exchanges; you start with two balls in one hand, and you land up with two balls in the other hand. Next, try double exchanges. Throw the back ball to the other hand, throw the single ball in the other hand, catch the first ball in front, catch the second ball in front. You started with two balls in one hand; you'll land up with two balls in the same hand. Then, try triple exchanges. You get the logic. Once you get triple exchanges, concentration and practice lead the way to multiple more, till you don't have the concept of exchanges ringing in your head anymore.

It's that easy. I haven't tried four or more balls. If anyone does, please tell me the sequence.

Random Thought: Rainwater Harvesting

A certain gentleman of my acquaintance was talking recently about the abundance of comedy in a certain movie industry. "Where do they get all their ideas from? It's like comedy is raining from the sky, and they are standing below harvesting it."

His words were lovely, at least to me. There is a whole world of beauty, elegant yet simple, to be read in them. It's a pity that neither he nor another mutual friend who was witness to the conversation thought so as well, and he quickly recanted his remarks, thinking them to be somewhat silly.

The weather outside was a cloudy sky, light clouds that held the promise of rain, yet not so dark as to be gloomy. Rains have been expected for quite some time here, although so far the promise has not been fulfilled. Is it so surprising then, that my friend should have used an analogy that was based upon rainfall?

Dictionary Definition:
rainwater/noun
1. water fallen as rain that has not collected soluble matter from the soil and is therefore soft

Dictionary Definition:
harvest/verb
1. to gain, win, acquire, or use (a prize, product, or result of any past act, process, plan, etc.)

2. to catch, take, or remove for use

My friend happens to be from that part of my country which is struck first by the rains when the monsoon approaches, and where rains are plentiful throughout the season. I have visited those parts twice, and during the monsoons both times. Also, forget about the recent boom in the IT industry; agriculture is still very important in my country, if for no other reason than that it is a major part of our economy, and a good monsoon is synonymous with a good harvest, which for a lot of people means food on the table for the rest of the year. Crops mean prosperity, and good rains mean a good crop. That idea is imbued in each one of us, very deeply in our subconscious.

But the monsoon is short-lived, and for the rest of the year we must live in sweltering heat, which saps the earth dry. And that is where rainwater harvesting becomes important, the practice of accumulating and storing rainwater, to provide water for household use and to boost up our depleted groundwater table, especially in urban areas where water consumption is immense. In a sweet coincidence, it is also especially popular in my friend's homeland.

The human thought process is a beautiful and elegant thing; it is influenced in a very subtle and complex way by myriad factors. Something as mild as the weather can have the power to unlock deep subconscious cues about the influences on our thought process, and then bring out those cues in our language. It's marvellous to unravel one thread of thought, and see how it gets shaped by everything around us.

Someone Somewhere

Someone, somewhere, has you on their mind.

Someone, somewhere, is watching for your smile, to light up their day.

Someone, somewhere, is waiting to hear you speak, so that they may comfort you.

Someone, somewhere, is looking at the clock, counting the minutes till you have dinner together. 

Someone, somewhere, is preparing for a phone call, so they can hear all about your day, your week, your month, your year.

Someone, somewhere, is eagerly anticipating the next moment they may see you, remembering the last time you got together.

Someone, somewhere, is expecting a photograph, to see how you've changed over the time you've been away.

Someone, somewhere, is hoping for an email, to know that you miss them and remember them.

Someone, somewhere, is looking at your work, admiring your spirit and your energy.

Someone, somewhere, is praying for you, waiting for the day when your labours will bear fruit.

Someone, somewhere, is aware of how you feel, and wants to give you a hug to make it better.

There is always someone, somewhere, who has you on their mind.

With so much love out there for you, how can you feel lonely?

Try Me One

Move slowly. Pack. Drive. Drive through the evening, through the sunset, through the night. 

Rejoice at someone else's smile. In your own dark abyss, full of secrets, is a glimmer that came from knowing that you gave someone else a light. 

Satisfy your hunger. Then drive some more. And then satisfy your hunger again, and again, and again. And then look upon the horizon and feel hungry again. 

Feel hungry. Feel thirsty. Feel lonely. Feel insecure. Feel cold. Feel sad. Feel frightened. 

Feel everything, and come so close, and yet not satisfy anything. 

Sleep. The best solace. A warm hug. The best comfort. A beautiful ocean. The best rest. The hunger ebbs away gently.

Drink your sorrow away, then sleep once more. Solace, comfort and rest all come together again.

Drive away again. Relax. Breathe. Calm down. Get excited, then calm down again. Feel restless. 

Share a joke. Share a laugh. The core of everything is cold stone, but the skin always craves warmth. 

Remember an old sequence, from twenty years ago, which looked exactly as beautiful as this. It makes you desperate. You reach out, and the wind envelopes your body, caring nothing for all the props of sophistication and civilization. 

The wind will never leave you, never betray you, and you can never betray it, as long as you breathe. For a moment, your despair dies. 

And then you come back to cold, hard reality. In the form of a highway that takes you inexorably back to the prison where you have been condemned to die. The trance breaks. 

Can you avoid punishment for running away? No. Can you break out and away from the prison, forever? Maybe. That's what this journey was all about.

Random Thought: Boy Meets Girl - the PhD Story

Boy meets girl. Boy is a few years senior to girl. Boy and girl are both doing PhD, in the same institute, same field. Boy and girl have common friends. Boy and girl and common friends do a lot of fun stuff together. 

Boy and girl like each other. Boy and girl go out for movies together. Boy and girl consider that this might be a serious thing. Boy and girl even attend international conferences together (convenient, since both are in the same field). 

Boy finishes first, and goes off to a foreign country to work. Boy keeps sending girl postcards and letters about his work and his friends. Boy and girl talk on phone once in a while. Girl keeps on in the meantime with her PhD. This goes on for three years. 

Boy comes back home, and gets a job in the institute. Boy and girl decide to marry. Girl tells her dad, who is extremely annoyed, but decides to give boy a chance. Boy cooks dinner for dad, and over dinner they discuss Physics, their common love. 

Girl asks dad what he thinks, and he replies that boy's cooking is better than girl's cooking. Dad agrees, though he probably doesn't approve in his heart. But he wants to see his little girl happy.

Boy and girl get married, and later have a baby girl. Baby girl will have her own stories to tell, too. But that's for another day.

(Dedicated to UK and NNR, with thanks for all the love)

Opening Doors

Apparently, the way I open car doors confuses my friend. 

"What are you thinking when you open the car door?"

"Huh? What?"

"You always pause for a moment before you open the door, like you're thinking something, I don't know..."

"Oh... okay... and what do you think I'm thinking?"

"I dunno... like maybe, is this guy a gentleman and will he open the door for me, or something like that... I'm just curious. You're always thinking something."

"Heh heh heh heh heh... dude, I don't need guys to open doors for me..."

What is it with guys and opening doors for girls? More than that, what is it about girls opening doors for themselves or for guys that upsets everyone?

Really, opening a door is not a huge task, anyone can do it. I don't understand why this 'chivalry' factor is so special. Sure, it's a thing coming from old times, and women are thought to be the more 'delicate' sex, and so must be treated very nicely and politely all the time. It may have made sense in those times, if the doors were too heavy or something, but that argument just does not work today. 

The history of how this situation comes about is long and complex, and certainly no afternoon read. But it's fascination to observe how it operates. If a third party looks at a guy opening a door for a girl, the unconscious thought triggered is, oh isn't he being a perfect gentleman. If the girl opens the door and the guy just walks through like nothing special happened, the idea generated is, what a jerk! he's allowing a girl to open the door for him! This has actually happened to me. I've gotten those "Oh, poor girl, what a jerk she's with" kind of stares a couple of times.

Guys have opened doors for me before now, for no other reason than that they are guys and I'm a girl. I've opened doors for guys, only to have them look at me awkwardly and then proceed through the door, or try to take the door from me and let me enter first. I've never myself seen a case where a girl opens a door and a guy goes through without thinking anything more or less than that the girl is just being nice.

It's just plain polite manners to open the door for someone else. I'll accept an argument that younger people should open the door for the elderly, or that it makes sense to open the door for someone senior, like your parents or your boss. It's polite when guys open doors for girls. It's equally polite when girls open doors for guys. There shouldn't be anything weird or awkward or extraordinary about that, for either guys or girls. 'Chivalry' isn't something special; it's just this subset of nice behaviour, and shouldn't be considered anything more than that.

I won't bother to talk about picking up bags right now.

Break A Leg

Everyone should break a bone exactly once in their lifetime. Preferably in your teens or early twenties, so that you are old enough to think philosophically about it, and yet young enough that it heals at a decent rate. I have had my share of accidents and so on, but the worst I've suffered is a muscle pull, which I managed about two weeks back, on a hiking trip.

In such cases, one should also preserve for posterity the way by which one came upon one's injury, embarrassing though it may be. After all, you'll only do this once in a lifetime. How did mine happen? I and a friend were on this nice hike through a rather tricky trail, which effectively went up a hillside covered with rocks and foliage. On the return, we had to take the same tricky path, and going downhill on a steep slope is damned tricky, especially with shoes that are as ill-treated as mine are. I slipped off a rock that we were supposed to jump, hardly four feet in height perhaps, and landed hard on my left side. I didn't break any bones, but I did scrape my knee, bruise my hip and pull my elbow.

In the immediate aftermath of the fall, I thought I had gotten off pretty lightly. The real pains began the next day. I thought I'd have a mild bruise on my knee; it turned out to be a pretty bad flesh wound (the kind you get when you skid a bike on a sandy road somewhere in India). I thought the elbow was just a muscle ache; it turned out to be a pretty bad tear, and I was unable to do anything at all with the entire arm. I had a dull ache in my hip, but only yesterday did I notice the bruise, which is completely below the skin, and covers fully two square inches. I've been limping around for the better part of two weeks, as expected.

What I did not expect was how freaking difficult it is to get through life with something as simple as a torn elbow and a scraped knee. Apart from the limping, I mean. I could do nothing with my left arm for a couple of days. I couldn't lift anything, I couldn't lean on it, I couldn't flex or twist it in all those intricate ways required for simple tasks like turning the doorknob, opening the fridge, or wearing my backpack. And all the while, my knee was no better: it kept stinging all the while, whether I stood or sat, it pulled against my jeans whenever I walked, and it showed just no signs of healing. No amount of medication or ointments did anything to ameliorate the situation for a week. After four days, I didn't bother with any of it, except to use a spray bandage to cover the wound, and I progressed at pretty much the same rate. I may have slowed down repair in the first week by allowing my knee to get wet when I bathed. (The first rule of healing is clean the wound and let it dry up, and don't let it get wet. How could I have disobeyed that rule?)

It was hellishly irritating. Even in my sleep, I'd wake up frequently, because while tossing and turning in my sleep, I'd inadvertently roll into a position of pain, and my body would scream bloody murder. Things did improve slowly, on a continuum. I can't quite point out exactly when what improvement came about, but of course it did, as it was supposed to, and the past two days have been good. I can walk comfortably now, I don't need the spray bandage, and the wound doesn't sting. My elbow hurts if I twist it into specific positions, but I can at least pick up the milk carton (though not my laptop), amongst other things.

I've never actually given any thought to what people with various disabilities must go through. You can read as many books and watch as many videos about different people with various kinds of handicaps and what they must face, about how they must struggle so hard to regain even the briefest semblance to a 'normal' life. I feel a new kind of respect now, one that arises from being aware of what a fellow human being must go through. I feel a little humbled, given that all these small things that I can take for granted in my full health, are not small matters for so many people. Yet they live, they work, and they are happy. It's a really humbling realization.

I shall probably heal fully within another week or so. And I shall be careful not to push my luck any further regarding my health and physical well-being. I've been having dreams from which I wake up and can remember no more than the word osteoporosis, and always then my mother's stern warnings regarding milk and calcium come back to me. Ain't a pretty feeling.

Random Conversation: Your Hair Looks Good

Me: "Hey dude... I like the hair, looks good."

Girl: "See? See? I told you."

Boy: "Thank you, thank you."

Girl: "Much better than that junglee look with all of it floating around his neck..."

Me: "Hey no, that was good too..."

Boy: "See? I have support!" 

Girl: "One supporter... yeah sure, go be happy."

Me: "No, come on, that look was adorable too..."

Boy: (Stunned) "Adorable? I don't wanna be adorable...! I wanna be handsome, you know... sexy... stunning..."

Me: "But you..." (Pause)

Girl: "What? What? Say it fully...!" (Giggles)

Me: "See, you can change your look, and handsome is fine... But you are adorable, and that ain't gonna change. So, live with it!" 

Boy: (Speechless)

Girl: (Giggles some more)

Me: (Grin)

California Rocks

California rocks are amazing. You live, and you feel alive, and you love what's going on in your life, and then one day you climb a bunch of rocks bordering a creek, and you feel like life has started afresh, all over again.

The journey starts when a new friend you've just met invites you out kayaking. Bang in the middle of nowhere. Kayaking? Really?? It's possible in this city??? You have got to be kidding me!!!

It's an awesome experience. It's just you, the kayak, the paddle, the lifejacket, the calm, quiet canals, the warm sun, the cool breeze, the salty water, the friendly people all around, and your own muscles, working away hard, stretching and relaxing, pulling and pushing, until you feel your biceps have doubled in size. It's exercise that requires a lot of focus, and quite a bit of energy, but you do have the option of taking a break in between, to relax, gearing up for the next bout of exercise. It's even better if you row a two-person kayak: you and your partner can row alternately, so that one person works while the other rests, or you can row and rest together (gives an opportunity for some very nice conversation).

The canals follow their own protocols as well. Canal traffic after all, is not very different from road traffic; there can be a lot of it, or there may be very little, everyone needs to use the waterways, there are big boats and there are small kayaks, and it's entirely possible to hit someone and sustain a bad amount of damage. So you need to have some rules to follow. As with road traffic, you stick to one side of the canal; if you approach a bigger vessel, you slow down; and if you cause damage, you gotta pay for it. Of course, you don't get to drive if you don't have a licence, in this case you can't enter the water unless you know how to swim.

The joy of the trip is heightened when you round it off with lunch at a Greek cafe. Not to mention an exhilarating motorbike ride at seventy miles per hour on the freeway.

A couple of days later, you go out for lunch again. This time, the surprise sprung on you is Peruvian food. Again, it comes up out of nowhere, a snug little spot tucked away in a place you'd never have expected to find unless you specifically searched for it. This place is so good, I'm surprised it is still such a quiet place, but I guess until it is discovered, the people who know of it have the pleasure of knowing as well that they are of the lucky few to savor it.

You have to marvel at how life can give you new stuff to enjoy, and think about. I had never imagined before that I would one day taste and plough through genuine Peruvian fare (and I know it's genuine, because my friend has been to Peru and had it straight from the llama's master's table). It's delightful as a cuisine, filling yet lightweight, tasty yet nutritious. They are especially fond of seafood, and have some lovely dishes (my personal recommendation - the ceviche. Delicate parts of fish soaked raw in citrus juices, served with sides of puffed corn and edible seaweeds. Finger licking good). Equally amazing are the juices they make. I've forgotten the names, but they were prepared home style at the restaurant that we visited, and so were absolutely delectable. (When did I become such a foodie?)

The fun doesn't stop there. Next steps, you go for what seems to be an ordinary hike in a pretty little place, nestled snugly in a valley with a creek running right through the hills. It's quite ordinary; you walk along at a nice easy pace, enjoy the creek bubbling along, the birds singing, the leaves rustling. Then your friend pushes you off the beaten trail, onto a smaller one leading into the gorge cut by the creek between the rocks. Soon, there is no trail altogether, and the rocks are all you have. So what do you do? You start moving along the rocks, just above the water, using the cracks and holes in the rocks as handholds and footholds. One false step, and plosh into the cold water you go, so you had better know how to swim, and more so how to deal with cold. Or do everyone a favour, and imagine that it's a lake brimming with lava and brimstone, and just don't fall into it. (Big evil grin)

Before we started, I thought I was a goner, that I was going to plop into the water sometime soon. Amazingly (or perhaps not so), it turned out to be easy, and more importantly, fun. We jumped rocks crossing the creek quite a few times, always looking for ways to proceed further. After a point, there were no more rocks to scale, so we thought of following up the creek to the point where it joins the trail. Follow it we did, but we never found the trail, and had to turn back at sundown, crossing all the terrain we had covered, and then the rocks, in the darkness. I almost did fall into the water at one point, but was rescued by my friend. In my defence, that part was really tricky, and it was dark.

Overall, the whole sequence was something exciting, something brilliant, something new, fresh, invigorating. Somehow, it feels like it would be even more exciting in a subsequent attempt, for now we can proceed further, perhaps in a different direction.

(Dedicated to my friend, el hombre fuerte, to whom I owe the pleasure of these experiences)