Random Thought: In Yourself, You Are

"Hey daddy! Look what I discovered!"

"What?"

"You know, 0 x 0 = 0. And 0 + 0 = 0. And you know what? 2 + 2 = 4 and 2 x 2 = 4. Those are the only two numbers where the sum and the product are the exact same number!"

Daddy smiles. 

"Am I the first one to discover this?"

"In yourself, you are."

Ducks

If it looks like a duck,
And quacks like a duck,
And cooks like a duck,
And tastes like a duck,
But if you asked for turkey or chicken, and not duck -
What is the point of it all?

Random Conversation: I... Can't Argue With That

"The blue of the sky is colour."
"Come again?"
"The blue of the sky is colour."
"I... can't argue with that."
"What is the spelling of colour?"
"C-O-L-O-R."
"In American, yes. But in British?"
"Oh... I see what you mean. By the way, you do know they're no longer really Britain... they are called the UK."
"Yeah, but you can't make UK into an adjective. United Kingdomians? Nah. Plus we knew them as the British when they invaded us, that's our memory of them."
"Well, they could be called the English."
"No, that wouldn't work! Imagine the confusion. English English, versus American or Australian English? Nah, that sounds weird. British is better."
"Okay..."

"British. Britney. Brittany. Britannia. There's a company in India called Britannia. They make biscuits. Wish I could have a biscuit right now. I'm hungry."
"Biscuit?"
"Biscuit."
"What's a biscuit?"
"Oh... that's cookie, in American."
"How does one keep that sort of thing straight?!"
"Heh heh. It gets funnier. You see, international trade has brought in multinational companies, a lot of them are American. And they bring in Americanisms. So we have both Britishisms and Americanisms."
"Like what?"
"Chips. We call 'em chips too. Britain calls them crisps. And fries, we call them fries too, but Britain calls them chips. Imagine a Brit chap trying to get fries in India. He asks for chips, and he'll get chips and he'll walk away with a chip on his shoulder. Too bad he can't eat that one! He won't be chipper for the rest of the day!"
 
"Are all Indians like this?"
Shrug. "Well, you know Rahul. He's fairly normal."
"Yes. Yes, he is!"
"I, on the other hand, am a lucky snowflake."
"What does that mean?"
"Snowflake, coz I'm unique. And when I say lucky I'm being sarcastic. Actually I could be serious. It depends. Maybe I'm both."
"How can you be both?"
"The principle of superposition. From quantum mechanics."
"Superposition."
"Mmm-hmmm!"
"Isn't that only for subatomic particles, and not really for people like you and me?"
Frown. "Well... maybe. But I'm going to ignore that and just say I'm both serious and sarcastic until you collapse the context function to observe which one I am!"
"Are you kidding?"
"Nope! I'm seriously sarcastic. Just like Schrodinger's cat! Except I'm alive. And a lucky snowflake."
"At any rate, that's a good expression. Where'd you hear that?"
"I just made it up."
"Well, you deserve credit for that one."
"I also thought of another one - I'm the only flower with nectar left for the bees."
"What???"
"Well, something like that, I'm still thinking about that one."
"Yeah... that one needs some work."

"I just thought of another expression I could use. It's quite a bit more colorful though."
Silence.
"It's probably not appropriate to say at work."
"Then you probably shouldn't say it."
"I'm the one out of millions of sperm that was successful in swimming to the egg!"
"Wait. What? You can't use that! You're a girl!"
"Well, I was made from two times X, but not two eggs! I had to have a sperm. Otherwise meiosis would toss and turn and cry in its grave. Or its bed or hammock or whatever."
"Amen for meiosis."
"I'm the one out of two thousand eggs and two million sperm that was successful!"
"I... can't argue with that."

Random Thought: Centre of the Universe

They looked at me like I was crazy.

"Wow, you're centre of the universe, aren't you? The world just revolves right around you."

"Well, I wouldn't say the world revolves around me. But you're right, I am the centre of my universe." They stared. "It's logical." They stared more.

"Logical."

"Yup."

"Would you like to elaborate on that?"

"Sure. If the universe is infinitely large and expanding fast in all directions to boot, from my perspective, in the limit to infinity, the edges of the universe are equidistant from me. And if they are equidistant, then no matter what the shape of the universe, I am at its centre.

"So there you go, I am most certainly at the centre of my universe."

The senior ones smiled. "Well, can't argue with that."

Random Conversation: Are We Players?

Last night, my friend and I were sharing some gossip about our mutual friends, catching up as I had been out of touch for a long time.

She told me about this one guy, who has always sworon to us that he would never get into a relationship, on account of his mother who didn't approve, and his own observation of his friends who went through dramatic roller-coasters in their own love lives.

"He's become a player," she said.
"What?"
"He's become a player."
"WHAT? Player? What? But... but he always swore he wanted to stay away from women! What happened?"
"He grew up. He finally grew up, and his hormones kicked in, and he gave in to them."
"Oh my goodness..."
"Yeah, he's become a player."
"Doesn't it seem like every guy goes through this phase?"
"You think so? No... I know plenty of guys who aren't like this..."
"You're lucky then, because it seems like almost every guy I know has gone through this..."
"Do you think we are players?"
"What?"
"You and me. Do you think we are players?"
"You and me? No. No, we are not players."
"Hmmm..."
"I mean, we could be, if we wanted to. I don't see why not - we're both smart, educated, forward thinking, good-looking - reasonably good-looking at the least... we could be players if we tried. It would be so easy to toy with the hearts of boys. But I don't find within myself any desire to do so."
"Neither do I... oh well."

Random Conversation: Hablo Espanol...

"Ola."
"Hello."
"Como estas?"
"Bien, gracias!"
"Hablo espanol?"
"Pokitos..."
"Ah... where are you from?"
"India."
"You look just like someone from Mexico. Do you work here?"
"Yes, I just started working here."
"You look like you're seventeen. Well, this is my stop, so I have to go, but it was very nice meeting you!"
"And you, too! I hope you have a good day today!"
"Thanks, and I hope you do too, senorita!"

I need to learn Spanish.

Random Thought: Rainwater Harvesting

A certain gentleman of my acquaintance was talking recently about the abundance of comedy in a certain movie industry. "Where do they get all their ideas from? It's like comedy is raining from the sky, and they are standing below harvesting it."

His words were lovely, at least to me. There is a whole world of beauty, elegant yet simple, to be read in them. It's a pity that neither he nor another mutual friend who was witness to the conversation thought so as well, and he quickly recanted his remarks, thinking them to be somewhat silly.

The weather outside was a cloudy sky, light clouds that held the promise of rain, yet not so dark as to be gloomy. Rains have been expected for quite some time here, although so far the promise has not been fulfilled. Is it so surprising then, that my friend should have used an analogy that was based upon rainfall?

Dictionary Definition:
rainwater/noun
1. water fallen as rain that has not collected soluble matter from the soil and is therefore soft

Dictionary Definition:
harvest/verb
1. to gain, win, acquire, or use (a prize, product, or result of any past act, process, plan, etc.)

2. to catch, take, or remove for use

My friend happens to be from that part of my country which is struck first by the rains when the monsoon approaches, and where rains are plentiful throughout the season. I have visited those parts twice, and during the monsoons both times. Also, forget about the recent boom in the IT industry; agriculture is still very important in my country, if for no other reason than that it is a major part of our economy, and a good monsoon is synonymous with a good harvest, which for a lot of people means food on the table for the rest of the year. Crops mean prosperity, and good rains mean a good crop. That idea is imbued in each one of us, very deeply in our subconscious.

But the monsoon is short-lived, and for the rest of the year we must live in sweltering heat, which saps the earth dry. And that is where rainwater harvesting becomes important, the practice of accumulating and storing rainwater, to provide water for household use and to boost up our depleted groundwater table, especially in urban areas where water consumption is immense. In a sweet coincidence, it is also especially popular in my friend's homeland.

The human thought process is a beautiful and elegant thing; it is influenced in a very subtle and complex way by myriad factors. Something as mild as the weather can have the power to unlock deep subconscious cues about the influences on our thought process, and then bring out those cues in our language. It's marvellous to unravel one thread of thought, and see how it gets shaped by everything around us.

Random Thought: Boy Meets Girl - the PhD Story

Boy meets girl. Boy is a few years senior to girl. Boy and girl are both doing PhD, in the same institute, same field. Boy and girl have common friends. Boy and girl and common friends do a lot of fun stuff together. 

Boy and girl like each other. Boy and girl go out for movies together. Boy and girl consider that this might be a serious thing. Boy and girl even attend international conferences together (convenient, since both are in the same field). 

Boy finishes first, and goes off to a foreign country to work. Boy keeps sending girl postcards and letters about his work and his friends. Boy and girl talk on phone once in a while. Girl keeps on in the meantime with her PhD. This goes on for three years. 

Boy comes back home, and gets a job in the institute. Boy and girl decide to marry. Girl tells her dad, who is extremely annoyed, but decides to give boy a chance. Boy cooks dinner for dad, and over dinner they discuss Physics, their common love. 

Girl asks dad what he thinks, and he replies that boy's cooking is better than girl's cooking. Dad agrees, though he probably doesn't approve in his heart. But he wants to see his little girl happy.

Boy and girl get married, and later have a baby girl. Baby girl will have her own stories to tell, too. But that's for another day.

(Dedicated to UK and NNR, with thanks for all the love)

Random Conversation: Your Hair Looks Good

Me: "Hey dude... I like the hair, looks good."

Girl: "See? See? I told you."

Boy: "Thank you, thank you."

Girl: "Much better than that junglee look with all of it floating around his neck..."

Me: "Hey no, that was good too..."

Boy: "See? I have support!" 

Girl: "One supporter... yeah sure, go be happy."

Me: "No, come on, that look was adorable too..."

Boy: (Stunned) "Adorable? I don't wanna be adorable...! I wanna be handsome, you know... sexy... stunning..."

Me: "But you..." (Pause)

Girl: "What? What? Say it fully...!" (Giggles)

Me: "See, you can change your look, and handsome is fine... But you are adorable, and that ain't gonna change. So, live with it!" 

Boy: (Speechless)

Girl: (Giggles some more)

Me: (Grin)

Random Thought: The Nameless

"Names are not important. To speak is to name names, but to speak is not important. A thing happens once that has never happened before. Seeing it, a man looks upon reality. He cannot tell others what he has seen. Others wish to know, however, so they question him saying, 'What is it like, this thing you have seen?' So he tries to tell them. Perhaps he has seen the very first fire in the world. He tells them, 'It is red, like a poppy, but through it dance other colors. It has no form, like water, flowing everywhere. It is warm, like the sun of summer, only warmer. It exists for a time upon a piece of wood, and then the wood is gone, as though it were eaten, leaving behind that which is black and can be sifted like sand. When the wood is gone, it too is gone.' Therefore, the hearers must think reality is like a poppy, like water, like the sun, like that which eats and excretes. They think it is like to anything that they are told it is like by the man who has known it. But they have not looked upon fire. They cannot really know it. They can only know of it. But fire comes again into the world, many times. More men look upon fire. After a time, fire is as common as grass and clouds and the air they breathe. They see that, while it is like a poppy, it is not a poppy, while it is like water, it is not water, while it is like the sun, it is not the sun, and while it is like that which eats and passes wastes, it is not that which eats and passes wastes, but something different from each of these apart or all of these together. So they look upon this new thing and they make a new word to call it. They call it 'fire.' 

"If they come upon one who still has not seen it and they speak to him of fire, he does not know what they mean. So they, in turn, fall back upon telling him what fire is like. As they do so, they know from their own experience that what they are telling him is not the truth, but only a part of it. They know that this man will never know reality from their words, though all the words in the world are theirs to use. He must look upon the fire, smell of it, warm his hands by it, stare into its heart, or remain forever ignorant. Therefore, 'fire' does not matter, 'earth' and 'air' and 'water' do not matter. 'I' do not matter. No word matters. But man forgets reality and remembers words. The more words he remembers, the cleverer do his fellows esteem him. He looks upon the great transformations of the world, but he does not see them as they were seen when man looked upon reality for the first time. Their names come to his lips and he smiles as he tastes them, thinking he knows them in the naming. The thing that has never happened before is still happening. It is still a miracle. The great burning blossom squats, flowing, upon the limb of the world, excreting the ash of the world, and being none of these things I have named and at the same time all of them, and this is reality, the Nameless."

- Roger Zelazny, Lord of Light

It's fun to take thoughts like these and think about them. Oftentimes, I won't really think about them the moment I read them. It takes a long sleepy bus journey at two in the morning, from the library to my home, to set me free, so that I would float into the air, drift away, and understand what I've read in my own way.

I had fun analyzing this thought, in terms of digital signal processing. Suppose I see something, I see it in an analog sense. If you see it, you would understand it in an analog sense too. But suppose I see it, and you haven't seen it and I try to describe it to you, it's always going to be a digital understanding for you. And that's an approximation to the actual thing. It's not exact. The finer the words I choose (ie the higher the sampling rate), the better the approximation will be. But it's still only an approximation. 

Reality is individual for each person; it's the way each one perceives it. But when one tries to describe it to another, words aren't and won't ever be as complete as the actual experience itself. The process of putting something into words and describing it to another person is essentially a truncation, a sort of sampling, and while that can be made to resemble the actual case very closely, it never is really exact. 

It's much more fun then, to examine and discover the world on your own, because that makes for a complete experience. Of course, it helps to go along with others' descriptions and experiences, since those could present different points of view and thus enrich our own experience. But nothing is like the original experience itself. 

That's probably also why photographs printed out from film are so much more vivid and lively than digital photographs.

Random Conversation: Sexy Alu Mattar

"Oh man, I had a full meal."

"What was for dinner?"

"Alu mattar. My roomie made it. It was sexy."

"The alu mattar? Sexy?"

"Yes, of course!"

"Do you realize you're changing the definition of sexy?"

"Why, what's wrong with calling it sexy?"

"Oh really? So... what were the curves like?"

"Of the mattar? Absolutely round and fresh, man, and the alu? Such lovely angular shape... And the tomatoes, so perfectly soft and mashed up... and the garlic and ginger paste and the ajwine added such lovely flavour...!"

"You know, that kind of description could be used for..."

"Yeah, I know."

Random Thought Process? Hmmm...

People, people and more people, presenting the seemingly random yet intricately complex and altogether marvellously chaotic thought process of two young residents of the living kingdom...

Power to the White Moon!

The Holiday Armadillo: i'm just ferklempted so i am saying crap
The Dragon Lady: no matter
The Dragon Lady: go on talking as u like
The Holiday Armadillo: hehe... one of the true patrons of the true form of nonsense
The Holiday Armadillo: ahhhh... how i misss this
The Dragon Lady: i know... i get high on the air and start talking crap...
The Dragon Lady: and ppl tell me to shut up
The Holiday Armadillo: they hardly know anything about any sense... whoever expected them to understand nonsense...
The Dragon Lady: rite...
The Holiday Armadillo: there are very few people left who can understand our kind of non sense
The Dragon Lady: eksaktly
The Holiday Armadillo: the victorian kind
The Dragon Lady: uve hit the nail on its head
The Dragon Lady: the poor wall is screamin frm the pain
The Holiday Armadillo: the nail hit me on the hammers head
The Dragon Lady: owwww! tht wudve hurt
The Holiday Armadillo: nope... the nail is screaming cuz it twisted its point
The Holiday Armadillo: too hard a skull you see...
The Dragon Lady: oh my god! the nail lost its nose!
The Dragon Lady: aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh...
The Holiday Armadillo: i see you got the POINT at the END
The Dragon Lady: ah yes... the end... to which all our discussion was pointed...
The Holiday Armadillo: yup, it pretty much had me right on the edge
The Dragon Lady: yeah... tis fun when ur turning the corner
The Holiday Armadillo: give up already... the moment has passed
The Holiday Armadillo: lol
The Dragon Lady: i know... sigh!